Leave and Cleave Part 2

We’re at camp this week with the boys so I’m sharing some posts on marriage.


Genesis 2:23-24 (King James Version)

23And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.

24Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.

I have talked about leaving and why it’s important as a wife, this week I want to talk about the cleave part.

I just kind of thought that cleave meant you just stuck with your man. You were part of him (because you’re one flesh now) so you’re stuck together.

Strong’s Concordance says this “abide fast, cleave fast together, follow close hard after, be joined together. A primitive root; properly, to impinge, i.e. Cling or adhere; figuratively, to catch by pursuit — abide fast, cleave (fast together), follow close (hard after), be joined (together), keep (fast), overtake, pursue hard, stick, take.”

Let’s pick out a few key words there…follow close hard after, cling, adhere, catch by pursuit, pursue hard. Ladies, this means that we don’t just stand by our man, but we continue to pursue him. We continue to cling to him, we work to develop that oneness and that relationship. We’re not just “stuck like glue” (love that song by Sugarland) to our husband. We’re hanging on, we’re continuing to hold fast to him. It is a conscious choice, it requires activity and effort on our part. We’re not just “there” we are an active participant.

Now I have to say this first…cleaving to our husband doesn’t mean that we can’t be apart from him for one second or that we have to do everything together. I think that’s unhealthy. We’re not smothering the guy, we’re not calling every 2 minutes when he’s at work. But it doesn’t mean we do everything separate either. I know couples who take separate vacations, have separate bank accounts, separate schedules and meet up only in passing. They lead separate lives. This is unhealthy too.

It means girls, that we’re not turning to our best friends, the neighbor or co-workers to form the relationships we should be with our husbands. They are a great support system, but they shouldn’t be where we go first. It should be to God and then our husband.

I can hear it already…There are times when a wife feels like she needs to “just vent” and “have a girls night”. Absolutely. I’ve benefitted from those things myself. But ladies I caution you to be careful what you say and think about your husband during those vent sessions. Remember that we are to respect our husbands and bad mouthing him to others isn’t how we show respect. It also opens us up to fostering negative feelings about him and opens the door for infidelity whether physical or emotional. Our marriages should be a work in progress even when we’ve been married 50 years.

When I think of the word cleave, I think of playdoh. Yep. Playdoh. Have you ever mixed two colors of playdoh together? They stick together, they hold fast, they are one. That’s what cleaving to your husband is like. You’re each unique, but you cleave to one another and become one. The other image I have when I think of cleaving is a kid, wrapped around the leg of someone. Holding on with arms and legs for dear life. For some that’s a negative image, so imagine the playdoh if you have to. The point is this…we are active participants when we cleave to our husbands. We are holding on for dear life.

Our cleaving to the man we marry should come second only to our cleaving to Christ and the cross. We should daily cling to, pursue and adhere to our Heavenly Father. He is where we get our strength and sustenance. God is our first priority and in pursuing Him it makes it easier to pursue our husbands.

My challenge for this week: How can you cleave to your husband this week? How can you pursue him, hold fast to him? Is there some way you can get alone time? Is there a project or something he’s been working on that you can compliment him on, what about working with him? Can you do something together? Even if it’s just the dishes or folding that basket of laundry. I encourage you this week to find a way to strengthen your bond with your husband.

Brazilian Peel giveaway!

The Sublime Media Connection has been putting Brazilian Peel to the test. You can find several of the reviews here.

About Brazilian Peel:
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3 very lucky readers are going to win a month supply of Brazilian Peel, valued at $78.
This giveaway begins on July 30 and ends on 8/30.
Good luck!
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Leave and Cleave — Part I

We’re at camp this week with the boys so I’m sharing some posts on marriage.


Genesis 2:23-24 (King James Version)

23And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.

24Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.


While we’re looking at what God has called us to be as women, let’s just start at the beginning shall we? And since you can’t be a wife until you’re married we’ll just go from there…


Leaving…seems easy enough right? But it is sometimes the hardest of all. The marriage relationship was established right from the beginning. When we get married it’s not about playing house or riding off into the sunset with our prince charming. Because just over that first ridge is real life.


Leaving to get married doesn’t mean that we never speak to our families again or that we move out to the middle of nowhere. But leaving means that we, as wives, have a new responsibility and new role. We are now joined to our husband. We are “one flesh”. Our relationship with our husband now becomes our priority relationship. It’s where we turn to first.


I used to think this whole “one flesh” idea meant that I had to let my old self go. It meant that I couldn’t be me, I had to assimilate to him, I had to look like him (well not really), but I had to like what he liked, do what he did, do what he told me to without question (we’ll talk about submission in another post). Guess what, I don’t.


The Hebrew word for flesh is basar. It means by extension, body and kin. Extension… I think immediately of my hands. I think of how my hands look and work differently than my head, but they are an extension of me. They touch and caress my children, they work, they cradle and they love. It’s the same for my relationship with my husband. I don’t have to be the female version of him, but I do need to be an extension of him.


One flesh means that we are parts making up a whole, just as our hands and feet, shoulders, knees and elbows are all parts making up our whole body. We each do different things, but we are one. We are united. We are together. It means that our relationship with our husband is our most important human relationship.


So I have a challenge for you (and myself). I want to challenge you this week to put your husband first. Ask yourself how you can make him your more important human relationship, what can you do to foster that? If it means staying up late or getting up early to have some precious alone time with him…do it.

Next week…Cleaving…and no it’s not another kitchen gadget.

Weigh in Wednesday and Link Up

Last week I took the plunge and showed you what I weigh. I’ll do it again this week too.
I have a confession to make though…it’s not about numbers for me. It really isn’t. I’m not sure I even have a “goal weight” in mind here. I have a goal feeling. I want to feel fit, I want to feel healthy, I want to feel good. Sure I know what I weighed when I got married or before I had my first son, but for me it’s really not about reaching either of those numbers. It is more important that I am healthy and fit for my children and my family. I don’t want to huff and puff when I run with my kids. The numbers are there just to help me track my progress.
I do have some definite goals in mind though. I encourage you if you’re going on this journey with me that you set some goals for yourself, both short term and long term. Here are a couple of mine to get you started and then we’ll talk “numbers”.
1. Run a 5K without stopping and in less than 45 minutes. (Remember how last week I said I don’t really like to run? I still don’t, so hitting this one will be a biggie for me).
2. Do 40 burpees at the end of each workout. If you don’t know what these are they’re intense, kind of miserable, but a great all over body workout.
3. Kick my sugar addiction. Seriously. It’s an addiction. I’m still in the detox mode and have had to get it all out of my house otherwise I’ll eat it. The first 3 days were the worst, but I still have a craving every afternoon, so none in the house (believe it or not this also meant getting rid of chocolate chips…they were my “if I need a really bad fix” food).
4. Do 10 pull ups. This might be a longer term goal for me considering I can’t do one without my feet being on a chair, but I’m working on it.
5. I want to be comfortable enough with how I look that I can sit without folding my arms to hide my belly. I have be subconsciously doing this for months, every time I sit and even when I’m standing my arms are crossed over my stomach. I don’t want to do that. It makes me look unfriendly first of all and secondly it’s not very flattering. I want to stop it and not feel like everyone is looking at my muffin top.
So those are my “big” goals for this who deal. I have smaller ones each day, like I’m going to eat more protein, I’m going to cut out unnecessary carbs at supper, I’m going to workout for an hour tonight.

So here we go, my numbers for this week (with last week for comparison)

Last week This week
Starting Weight : 157.6 lbs. 155.6 lbs (2 pounds! woot woot!)
Arms (upper): 13″ 12.5″
Waist : 38.5″ (at belly button) 38″
Thigh : 23.5″ 23″
Calf : 15.5″ 15.5″

In between

I rarely like being in between (unless I’m in between my children).
We are moving in less than a month. I started packing about a month ago. I walk around and ask myself if we can live without *this* for the next 4 weeks. If I decide yes, then I throw it in a box. (Actually it’s much more detailed than that…future blog post). But in reality it feels like I spend some of my time wandering around contemplating what lies ahead for our family.
Daydreaming of how I’m going to decorate our new home, what it will be like to be a stay at home mom, and all of the unknowns. As I drift from room to room packing, I also reflect on what each room in our home has meant to us. I stand in our living room downstairs and remember the cursive letters that used to be the border on our walls as Gabe and Otto learned to write here, sitting at a card table. I remember the guests who have stayed under our roof and our first Christmas hosting all of Kerry’s family and we got the stomach flu…we were so thankful for the 3 bathrooms. And the bathroom in our bedroom is even more special. It is where our son Titus was born, my VBAC after 3 c-sections, my victory birth, my shock and awe…my last live birth almost 2 years ago.
Each room I pass through thinking about where the possessions will go in our new home and what has happened to our family in each room over the last 5 years. I am living in between the two. I vacillate between the future and the past, stopping momentarily in the present to pack a box.
Life in between.

New Recipe Monday — Salsa

With the harvests from the garden (although not mine since it didn’t do well this year), I enjoy making salsa from the fresh ingredients. Here is a recipe that we really like year after year.
6 roma (plum) tomatoes, diced (I use any kind)
1 sweet onion, diced
1 medium red bell pepper, diced
1 medium yellow bell pepper, diced (I often will use green instead)
1 bunch cilantro, finely minced (I like lots!)
1 lime, juiced (I’ve also used about 2 Tablespoons of lemon juice)
1 teaspoon salt, or to taste
In a bowl, mix the tomatoes, onion, red bell pepper, yellow bell pepper, cilantro, lime juice, and salt. Cover and refrigerate until ready to serve.
It’s that easy! I think it tastes best when it’s been refrigerated for several hours.


Wednesday Link Up

I’ve decided after reviewing Fit moms for Life to do something that we women are never supposed to do. I’m going to tell you what I weigh. Every Wednesday.
It’s probably the scariest and most daring thing I’ve ever done. But I’m doing it to keep myself accountable, to give you encouragement and to show that it can be done. After Knox died I dove into exercise to help me deal with my grief. I didn’t want to take antidepressants and so I started running. I lost about 15 pounds and felt great. When I got pregnant with Lily, I kind of slacked off on my running, but still watched what I ate and tried to keep kind of fit. But when she died too…I just couldn’t make myself start running again. It felt better to wallow a bit with food than it did to exercise. I stepped on the scale the other day and about fell over. I gained back all of the weight I’d lost and then some.
I had the opportunity then to review the book Fit moms for Life and decided to do something about it. After the testing we’ve had done after Lily’s birth I’m at higher risk for blood clots and other issues with the cardiovascular system, so I’d better do something about it now. That’s where you come in.
Every Wednesday I’m going to weigh in and post my starting weight, previous week’s weight and current weight. I’ll also be including body measurements and probably something about my diet or workout from the week. You’re here to keep me accountable. And humble.
I invite you to come on this journey with me. I’ll be hosting a link up so if you have a blog and have a healthy tip, recipe to share or want to join me for Wednesday weigh in you can add your link. We are here to encourage each other and cheer each other on, so only positive comments will be approved. Be nice, we’re all starting at different places, different paces and are taking different steps. So here we go!

Week 1 (7/18/12)


Starting Weight : 157.6 lbs.

Arms (upper): 13″
Waist : 38.5″ (at belly button)
Thigh : 23.5″
Calf : 15.5″
Let’s do this!!

Fit Moms For Life Review

So here’s the honest truth, I am over-weight and have used grief, pregnancy, breast feeding, stress, “too busy” and everything else under the sun to excuse my way out of needing to be fit and healthy. Not only for me but for my children. Fit Moms for Life puts a new spin on things for me.

To be totally honest I had my doubts about what a young guy (with no children) could say to moms, but Dustin Maher, who specializes in training mothers, clearly knows his audience. He provides useful, actionable information in this book. This is not just a rah rah motivational book, although there’s plenty of that in the more than 30 showcase moms that have dropped hundreds of pounds between them. And this isn’t a trendy crash diet book, or a painful regime that suggests you can drop 20lbs in a week by knocking yourself out. This is a lifestyle change book, that covers everything from nutrition to exercise and even budget considerations for fitness equipment. In other words, it’s *realistic* and practical. And because of that, it’s much easier to get into and stick to.
Before he ever jumps into the “workout” part of the book, Dustin spends some time talking about the 5 pillars of health in his program. Those include mindset, nutrition, strength training, burst training and environment. He goes through how each of those pillars can make or break you when it comes to being fit and around for your kids. The mindset piece was really telling for me. It’s what provided the motivation and inspiration for my daring post tomorrow. As mom’s we have to believe we are worth it and our families deserve us to be healthy before we can make the lifestyle changes necessary to get in shape and keep in shape.
One of the things I really liked about Dustin’s approach to fitness is that it doesn’t involve running miles and miles on the treadmill. I’ve always thought that to be in really great shape you had to run mile after mile. So when he said “running marathons or doing long distance cardio doesn’t help you burn fat and keep it off” I almost yelled out loud! Yes! Instead he focuses on strength training (no it doesn’t mean you’ll bulk up like the Hulk) and burst training (similar to interval training but more intense).
I actually enjoyed reading the book itself too. It’s easy enough to pick up and put back down when it’s time to make dinner. I did find myself skipping ahead to read the Fit Moms for Life transformations he features in the book. I like to see moms who have done it and succeeded. It makes it seem more realistic to see moms who weren’t “fit” to begin with get that way using these concepts.
I spent some time on his blog at http://dustinmaherfitness.com/ to learn more about this whole concept. He’s got some great articles and videos to help you stay on track as well as some testimonials. Overall after I finished reading the book and taking a peek at his websites, I felt very inspired, like I could do this. I didn’t feel like this was going to be one of those “purchase and set on the shelf” kinds of things. I’ve just finished the book and have started the workout plan. So far I’m liking it (remember…no running lots of miles). It seems to offer so much more than the usual workout programs advertised on TV. It’s not just about losing weight, it’s about making lifestyle changes.
PS. As a sneak peek to my bold post tomorrow, I can tell you that this book has inspired me to do something I would have never done and I will be sharing my story with you.
I received the above products through Sublime Media Connection in exchange for an honest review. In no way was I asked to give a positive review.

Rocky Mountain Popcorn Giveaway!!

Rocky Mountain Popcorn comes in a variety of flavors from spicy to sweet. There is something crunchy & delicious for everyone. Pick from old school favorites such as buttered & lightly salted or go bold & try something new like the Southwest Cheddar. The Southwest is spicy, cheesy & has a fabulous kick of lime that makes for a unique taste.

Rocky Mountain delivers by the case so you will have lots of yummy snacks on hand at all times. The bags are designed with easy snacking in mind, using the “grip n’ pour” technology. This style also makes storage a snap!
For over 20 years the folks at Rocky Mountain have been hot-air popping the largest, moistest kernels they can find. With all this practice comes a fantastic product sure to satisfy even the harshest of corn connoisseurs.
Now it is your turn to experience the delectable flavors of Rocky Mountain Popcorn! Enter below to win your very own case. Good luck!
This giveaway was brought to you by the Sublime Media Connection. The participating bloggers cannot be held responsible for the delivery of this item, as that is the responsibility of the sponsor. If you have any questions regarding the delivery of the prize please email pr@sublimemediaconnection.info
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I’ve talked with moms about how to win the heart of their children. At a time when we can check email, Facebook, twitter and text on our phones, it’s easy to forget the easiest and perhaps simplest way of showing our children they matter.
Listen to them.
I am guilty of sometimes tuning out the din around me to work (especially because I work primarily online now). I have been guilty of having one of the boys come up to me and say “hey mom guess what?!” and they barely get an acknowledgment from me. In fact, there have been times when they’ve been talking to me and the web sucks me back in…eventually they quit talking and walk away. What kind of message does that send to my children? If we aren’t willing to listen to the “little” things they’re telling us, they won’t want to tell us the “big” things.
In the last couple of months I have been feeling convicted about how little I listened, really listened, to my children when they were talking. I have purposed to put away my phone when they’re talking, to not check Facebook while my husband is trying to say something and to be willing to look up from my computer when they say “Guess what!” I have also changed my daily routine so that I have time to work during naptime or after they go to bed so that I’m not distracted.
Our children have much to say. We are building a foundation with them now while they are young. If we show them that they are important, that we want to hear what they have to say they will want to talk more to us. They’ll start to share not only their discoveries on the sidewalk, but also the desires of their hearts. And as they get older, they’ll feel safe sharing their struggles, their fears and what hides deep down.
If you want to win the heart of your child the first step is to listen to them. Show them they matter.