If I Ever Get Cancer

I’ve decided that imagining what you’ll do when/if you or a loved one gets cancer is a lot like imagining what you’ll be like as a parent before you have kids. You’re pretty sure you have it all figured out until it happens and then you realize you know nothing.

That’s how this has been for us. Before Kerry was diagnosed we would sometimes talk about “If I ever get cancer…” and about how we’d approach treatment and appointments. We thought we had it figured out. We were sure neither of us would ever have chemo or radiation. We reasoned, if cancer is caused by cells that are overgrowing and not able to be regulated by the immune system, then you “beef up” the immune system and it will be able to conquer the cancer right? Build up the troops so to speak and the troops will win the war.

We read books, watched documentaries and research lots before we decided to go with traditional treatment along with some complementary treatments. So what is it that made us decide to ‘poison’ his body with chemo and radiation? Honestly…it’s what we felt the most peace with. We prayed a lot for wisdom and discernment.

When we researched and talked to other care providers, we couldn’t find a single one who was willing to operate and take the tumor out without chemo and radiation first. Not one. We found ones that would support us through chemo and radiation with complementary therapies. We found ones who told us alternative treatments were junk and it was asking for a death sentence and we found ones that were more middle ground.

I’m a pretty crunchy person and I am a nurse. I’ve had most of my babies at home. I use a lot of complementary and alternative methods for ailments. Yet….my kids also go to the doctor, get most of their vaccines and vitamin K at birth I just heard my crunchy friends gasp.

I know there is merit to both approaches to health. I believe it’s vital to fuel your body with nutrients, vitamins and non-crap food. I also know that there is value in western medicine, antibiotics and traditional approaches to care.

We made the choice that we could live with and that felt the best at the time. We have re-evaluated at each step if this was still the path we wanted to be on.

We asked LOTS of questions of our oncologists. In fact, the medical oncologist we see jokes with us about our ‘question notebook’ and Kerry’s cancer folder that contains all of his meds, appointments, procedures and lab values. Complete with color coded, labeled tabs…all chronologically in order of course. We’ve been up front with Kerry’s doctors about our desire to incorporate complementary therapies in with his chemo and radiation. And our oncologist is okay with that. He’s been blunt with us about not throwing out the baby with the bathwater and encourages us to still use the traditional approach. He has shared studies and is willing to look at the ones we’ve brought to the table.

So earlier this year, every week Kerry would go to get his chemo pump and every day he went to radiation. I fed him fruits and veggies and vitamins to ‘beef up the troops’.

Tomorrow, he goes again for chemo. We will again incorporate the complementary therapies we’ve carefully researched. I’ll try to give him as much healthy fuel and supplements he can handle. Ultimately, we put all of our trust, not in the supplements and therapy, but in God. We pray for His will to be accomplished in it all.

Together we pray for God’s healing hand in it all. We trust that regardless of the outcome or therapy we choose, God will be glorified in the life we live. He is our healer, our protector and the reason we have any hope at all.

Romans 15:13 May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.

Blood clots, back to work and Chemo round #2

It’s been a busy few weeks. At Kerry’s 10 day post op appointment with the surgeon he casually mentioned some lower leg pain he’d been having. The blood vessel in his left lower leg was a bit swollen, sore and hard to the touch. His surgeon felt like it was probably just an inflamed blood vessel, but ordered a ultrasound of his leg just as a precaution. The ultrasound revealed a blood clot behind Kerry’s RIGHT knee and inflammation and irritation in his lower left leg. We promptly got a prescription for a fancy new (and very expensive) anticoagulant drug called Xarelto.

We saw his primary doc the next day. I’m just going to say…we are so thankful for Dr. Holdeman. He was the one who listened to Kerry’s complaints early on and ordered the colonoscopy even thought Kerry didn’t “fit the profile”. His proactive approach allowed an early diagnosis for us. Dr. Holdeman had already talked to our surgeon and oncologist (who was on vacation in the Middle East) by the time we had our appointment. Kerry will continue on the Xarelto for at least the next 6 months. Having cancer and treatment can increase your risk for DVT (deep vein thrombosis) and Kerry has had a DVT previously when he fractured his knee. The anticoagulant adds a layer of complication further down the road when it’s time for his reconnect surgery, but that’s a bridge we’ll cross when we get there.

The cool thing about Xarelto is that there are no lab values to be checked. When he had his DVT previously, he was getting injections in his abdomen twice a day and then having daily lab draws while we got to therapeutic levels. This time it is as easy as taking a pill twice a day and living life. We’re thankful it’s one less thing to track and so far it seems to be working well without major side effects.

Another milestone for Kerry this week was going back to work. He started back partial days on Monday and has been gradually increasing his time each day. He’s still on weight restriction for the next several weeks but he said it’s felt good to be back, even on light duty.

Next week clean up chemo starts. We’ve debated a lot about whether he should even do it or if we should delay the chemo until after they reconnect his ostomy. The thought of a chemo pump and the ileostomy can be a bit daunting and wearing on you. And quite frankly…Kerry is more than ready to be done with the ostomy. It inhibits his movement and ability to do his job and just life in general. We have yet to find the right products, “method” of taping or whatever to help make him feel like he can do normal activities. So adding chemo on top of that is not something he’s super thrilled about. However, we’ve talked a lot with our doctors and have been doing research on our own. For now, the plan is clean up chemo first and then the ileosotmy take down after that. We are hoping by Thanksgiving to have everything reconnected.

Even in light of the ostomy and the blood clots we have so much to be thankful for. God has been gracious to us. He is using this time to refine us and bring about change within our lives to shape us to be more like Christ. We are learning lessons of humbleness, kindness, patience, tolerance, compassion and so many more.

Some ways you can pray for us as we prepare for the next steps:

  • Pray that we can be a light to others in the face of adversity and uncertainty. We have been given a rare opportunity, pray that we use it wisely.
  • Pray for Kerry as he learns to live life with his ostomy. It’s a challenge.
  • Pray for minimal side effects from the chemo. This next round has the reputation for being particularly brutal. Pray that God would protect his fingers and toes from neuropathy and the rest of his body from cold sensitivity.
  • Pray for our children. It’s stressful for them too. Pray that they will see God’s faithfulness in trial. Pray that we will guide them and disciple them to see Jesus. Pray for those that don’t yet know Christ as their Savior. That they would come to a saving faith.
  • Pray for our docs, nurses and other care providers. We are thankful for them. Pray that they will have times of rest, for wisdom and grace with their patients. Pray also for their families. We know there is much sacrifice when they are caring for others.

Thank you all for the prayers. Our family has been so blessed by each note, text or word of encouragement.

Psalm 86:12 I will give thanks to You, O Lord my God, with all my heart,
And will glorify Your name forever.