Stories from the Rosfeld family
Raising Arrows: Homeschooling with Purpose
I’m taking a little break from becoming a godly wife and focusing a bit on becoming a godly family. My brain has been full this week and this has been something on my heart lately. I hope it speaks to you.
Family worship was a totally foreign concept to me until recently. But we’ve been incorporating most evenings in our family for the last couple of years. It looks a little different each night, but it has been such a blessing. I would encourage you to begin some type of family worship in your family.
We’ve found that family worship gives us a time to bond as a family, it’s been time for us to really discuss issues that we may be facing as a family, it’s proven to be a great training opportunity and it’s been huge in providing spiritual growth for our family. We look at family worship at building a family legacy, we are building the legacy of a family built on faith and a family built of God.
Here are some of the things we’ve done as a family during our worship. We usually start the worship time off with time in the Word. We don’t have a perscription or a guide. We usually study a book, piece by piece. We started off with Luke. We’ve also studied the 10 commandments and are currently in Genesis. Dad (Kerry) usually reads our passage, although we’ve mixed it up a bit lately. We’ve been listening to a dramatized version of the Bible we bought on CD last year. As a family, we generally enjoy audio books so it’s been a nice change of pace. Sometimes we cover 2 or 3 verses and other times we cover 20 or 25. It depends on the content of the passage and how many questions the boys have about what we’re reading. We use our time to talk about what the passage means, how it applies to our lives and what it might look like to live it out.
After we read our passage we will sometimes sing a few hymns. We try to sing the same one or two hymns a week so that we learn them well as a family and the boys learn the words. It’s been so fun to hear our family sing in the evenings. It’s even cooler to hear the boys sing the hymns during the day while they’re doing their daily chores or just playing. We’re kind of a musical family so it’s been fun and it has turned into such a blessing for me.
After we sing we take time to pray. Sometimes we’ll ask all of the boys to pray individually and then Kerry and I will pray. Sometimes we’ll just have one or two of us pray. We look over prayer requests from Sunday or through our prayer chain. We’ll also ask each of the boys for prayer requests, specifically what we can pray for them each day. Occassionally we’ll focus on a specific character quality we’ve struggled with during the week.
Family worship has been a integral part of our days and evenings. If we miss a night, we feel kind of crummy the next day. We feel “off” as a family. We look forward to our time together each night. We have a rule that we don’t answer the phone (I even shut of my email alerts for my cell phone), we don’t have any TV or radio on so that we can focus totally on worship together as a family. If you have young ones, this is a great time to teach them reverent behavior for church. Not to say our kids sit perfectly still and don’t fidget during church, but they do sit still during prayer (most of the time) and we’ve taught them how to be respectful during the service.
I should note that this family worship is separate from our morning devotions or Bible time as part of our school. We usually use that time in the mornings to read our Proverb of the day and morning prayer. I would encourage you as a family to begin some kind of worship time each day. If you miss a day, no biggie. Do it again the next day. Your Lord will be glorified and you will be blessed.
Ladies, one of the big challenges can sometimes be if your hubby doesn’t feel comfortable taking the leadership role during family worship. You don’t want to be a nag about this. It’s great if you can suggest to him that you start family worship together, or you can gently remind him that this is something you wanted to start. Maybe things like “honey, do you want me to read our passage tonight or would you like to? I’d be happy to do it, but remember you asked me to remind you we wanted to start this with the kids” or “Kids! Go get the Bible…Daddy is going to read it to us!” And for those of you who don’t think you can sing…get a good worship song DVD, you can find the lyrics online and sing to your heart’s content! Who cares if you’re off key. It’s delightful to your Father!
The biggest thing is, start building that legacy.
I have been blessed this week by my children. My kids are the greatest kids on the planet. Really they are. They always have an endless supply of hugs and kisses to help make my day brighter. The stuff that comes out of their mouths cracks me up. They love me just how I am. And they forgive me.
Newflash: I’m not the perfect mom, I’m not the perfect wife and sometimes I have a genuinely rotten day. And I fail miserably. I want my home to be a safe, happy, warm place for my family. When my children look back on growing up and being with mommy I want them to smile and be happy. I hope they do. But this last week I had a bad day. I was short tempered, I yelled and I was just sour. My home was not happy. I had to ask for forgiveness more than once for losing my temper, saying hurtful things and in generally making life way too stressful.
As a side note I’ve noticed that my “bad” days are usually days that I try to cram too much into my day and on days that I try to juggle too many things. I plan on letting some of these things drop in the near future. But I’m working on setting boundaries for work and family. I no longer answer the phone during school time. I even shut it off during our field trip the other day. And I make sure that I spend time with them just playing (something I’ve been neglecting for far too long).
But my children blessed me. They blessed me by being forgiving, still loving me and still wanting to spend time with me. At the end of the day, they all wanted to snuggle up and cuddle on the couch, and we did. I was thankful. Despite my failings as a mother, my children look at me and see a mom they love and they know that even when I have a bad day I still love them and it’s all okay.
I was blessed this last week by my children, despite the muddy floor, dirty clothes, spilt milk and cereal. I was blessed by my kids. I was blessed by their unconditional love and their willingness to accept me as an imperfect mom.
I haven’t taken any pictures lately for my wordless Wednesday post, (so much for my plan of taking pictures of the kids each week) so I’m going to give you Rosfelds by the numbers…
Number of family members : 6 (so far) The next question that usually follows is “How many are you going to have” …As many as we’re blessed with. We believe in Jesus-full thinking. (Oh yeah…we’re one of *those* families. I’ll share more about our personal convictions on another post).
Number of times we’ve moved since Kerry and I got married in 2001 : 10
Number of pets : 1 dog and 2 birds currently.
Number of loads of laundry we do per day : at least 3
Loads of dishes : 2 per day
Vehicles owned : 2
Vehicles currently sitting in driveway : 4 (plus 2 at the shop…not all ours).
Gallons of milk per week : 7-8 (half 2% and half skim)
Monthly grocery budget : $375.00
Meals eaten out : 3-4 per month always fast food. 🙂
Legos : too numerous to count, but lots of sets and at least one large rubbermaid tub full.
Instruments played : 4 (flute, drums, trombone, piano — Otto is currently taking lessons).
Jobs held currently : 6 combined. Not including parenting…
Diapers changed : 18-24 per day depending on bowel habits.
Outfits : 8 per day. We have at least two kids make one change of clothes each day which is why we do 3 loads of laundry each day. 🙂
Computers : 2. One desktop and one laptop.
Cookbooks : 40 at least. I like them for recreational reading.
Floors swept : 4 times per day. That’s our goal anyway…
Vacuuming : 2 times a week. If I can feel dirt on my feet when I walk I know it’s time to vacuum.
Pairs of shoes : 35-40. The range is because we can’t always find both shoes at the same time.
Hours of sleep : Kids : 11-12, those napping get 14, Grown ups 6-7
Hugs and Kisses : More than we can count, but never enough.
OK. One of these days you’ll explode and shout to the kids, “Why don’t you grow up and act your age?”
…and they will.
OR:
“You guys get outside and find yourselves something to do. And don’t slam the door!”
…and they don’t.
You’ll straighten up the boys’ bedroom neat and tidy — bumper stickers discarded, bedspread tucked and smooth, toys displayed on the shelves. Hangers in the closet. Animals caged. And you’ll say out loud, “Now I want it to stay this way.”
…and it will.
You’ll prepare a perfect dinner with a salad that hasn’t been picked to death and a cake with no finger traces in the icing, and you’ll say, “Now, there’s a meal for company.”
…and you’ll eat it alone.
You’ll say: “I want complete privacy on the phone. No dancing around. No demolition crews. Silence! Do your hear?”
…and you’ll have it.
No more plastic tablecloths stained with spaghtetti.
No more bedspreads to protect the sofa from damp bottoms.
No more gates to stumble over at the top of the basement steps.
No more clothespins under the sofa.
No more playpens to arrange a room around.
Only a voice crying, “Why don’t you grow up?” and the silence echoing,
“I did.”
…Erma Bombeck
While the title of this post sounds loaded with fun…it’s not…well…it’s just loaded I guess. It’s about surrender. Whoa! Come back! I lost you there for a second didn’t I? Surrender is a tough thing. For me at least.
I’ve been reading Absolute Surrender by Andrew Murray lately. First let me tell you that it’s one of those books that I have to read each sentence twice to make sure I understood what I read. And second I should probably confess that I’m only in the second chapter, but it has me doing some serious thinking. I was so blessed this weekend to have some time for a mini retreat. I told Kerry that I felt like God wanted me to get alone with him, and well…that’s tough to do with 4 little boys. (The post about mommies getting up early for “alone time with God” comes later). So he kept an eye on the kiddos while I went for a cup of coffee and took my Bible and journal to a little coffee shop that was almost deserted. Yes!
I’ve had a lot on my mind lately. While we’re not in a place where I can be home full time yet, I find myself balancing work and life at home. It’s something I know lots of moms struggle with. Some by choice and some by necessity. We are continually praying that God will make a way for me to stay home full time soon. It’s where my heart is. Which brings me back to surrender. I’m going to be totally transparent here…I struggle to fully embrace what God has called me to be as a wife and mother. I want to, but my human-ness pulls me in another direction.
First of all…I like praise. I like to be told job well done, I like to feel useful and know that people rely on me to get the job done. I like to feel invaluable. I like to blame it on the fact that I’m a first born and I got praised for just about everything I did when I was a kid…but in reality it’s my sinful nature. Ouch. When I go back and read that last paragraph it sure sounds self serving doesn’t it? Well guess what? It is. Now don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing with being told you’ve done a good job or wanting to do a good job. But when that praise becomes your motivation for doing something…you’ve got a problem. (I should say I’ve got a problem).
As I sat there sipping my coffee and thinking about my need for praise it hit me…I can’t rely on me, I can’t worship myself or expect others to. Call me a slow learner. I will fail to live up to mine (and other’s) expectations every single time. If I judge myself by human standards when will I be good enough, smart enough or giving enough? The world doesn’t value me like God does. In fact, they’ll keep taking what I can give without regard to me as a person. But how do I let that go? Wanna hear something really convicting? Galations 1:10…10For am I now seeking the favor of men, or of God? Or am I striving to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a bond-servant of Christ.
Surrender.
Serve God not man (and not myself). My actions, thoughts, and words should point to God and not to me. Embrace what God has called me to be as a wife and mother. So I’ve begun studying just what that is. What I’m to do scripturally. I’ve heard it all before, but have never really taken the time to study it for myself.
I plan to share my thoughts here and with you in the hopes that we can be on this journey together and that I can learn from you and you from me…both of us learning from God. I will be brutally honest and transparent (something else I struggle with) so be gentle. 🙂
How many of you knew it was nurses week this week? How about that Friday is nurses day? Not many, I’ll bet.
I was in the store the other day picking up a few cards (for another big day on Sunday). I thought I’d pick up a nurses day card or two to send to some special nurses in my life. Guess what…I found 2. A whole 2 to choose from and they were dumb. Really? I’m just gonna say it…nurses are more important than that and I don’t just say it because I am one and because I educate them. Nurses are important to everyone.
It sounds so cliche’ to say that nurses “care” and nurses have “heart” and all that other mushy stuff. You know what though…it’s true. When I started going to college I wanted to be a doctor. I wanted to help people. I got in school and completed 2 years of pre-med and was working as a CNA on our peds floor. (Because I heard med schools liked people who worked from the “ground, up”). What I discoverd though is that the doctor I aspired to be really only spent 5-10 minutes with the patient and it was the nurse who made the connection. That’s what I wanted to do, the CARE part of healthcare. So that summer I got married and changed my major to nursing. I’ve never been sorry since. While in nursing school I worked as a nurse tech on the maternal child floor. I’ll never forget the first birth I saw…I was hooked. I saw that warm, wriggly baby brought into this world by his mother and I KNEW that was it for me. I have never lost my awe at the birth of a baby. It is just as miraculous the 1000th time as it was that first time. Nursing is IT for me.
There are so many opportunities in nursing. I am currently working in education because I wanted to make a difference in the future of nursing. I wanted to influence students, but there are times (more often than not) that I miss my patients. I miss the bedside…where the caring takes place. I think I’ll go back there someday (probably sooner rather than later). I miss the awe of it all…the intensity of labor, the work that is done, the reward of that first cry, the joy on the faces of new parents. Even on my worst days in nursing I feel like I made an impact, I CARED.
When you talk to someone who has been ill or had a family member who has been ill they’ll tell you about their nursing care. They’ll tell you about that nurse who made the difference to them when they were feeling their worst. Nurses make a difference. Nurses are up at night working, nurses miss holidays and parties and family stuff to care for someone else’s family. We do it because we CARE.
One of my students was quoted in the paper this last Sunday…She says ““My contributions to health care will be simple. I don’t believe I will ever discover the cure for cancer or create a new life-saving pharmaceutical drug. But, I will listen to, care for, offer words of encouragement to, and hold the hands of dying and sick patients and their families. I will be a patient’s first line of defense when they experience a change in their physical or mental status. I will be their advocate and push for whatever it is they may need to feel better, get better, and help them through their plight. My contributions may be small but may make a world of difference in the life of a sick person.” That’s it exactly. And that’s why I love nursing. (You can read the full article here it was written by her dad).
So this nurses week, hug a nurse. Tell them you’re glad they CARE. Because we really do.