Tag: Prayer

How it went and the full story

5/10/12
Warning, this post is a little long, but it seems like I’ve explained this whole thing a hundred times. I’ve decided to just make business cards and hand them out saying “just visit my blog”. I’m only half kidding, but here is the whole story…
Today is over. I am thankful. I slept surprisingly well last night, although I woke up several times, I was able to get back to sleep.
Our appointment was for 9am this morning, I was told to bring a book and be prepared to wait. My initial thought was “there is no way I’m going to be able to concentrate and read anything.” Thankfully they had a TV in the waiting room and I didn’t have to wait as long as expected.
A week ago we had a 12 week sonogram that measures nuchal translucency (the scruff of baby’s neck). It measures the amount of fluid in that little pocket, if the measurement is high it can indicate that baby isn’t able to circulate fluid like it should. Normal is less than 2.5mm, ours measured 6mm, which is pretty significant. It is considered a “soft” marker for chromosome abnormalities or heart defects. I also had lab work drawn with it, which was actually normal, however the blood work combined with the NT measurement doesn’t bring my risk to “normal” yet. So we were referred to maternal fetal medicine for further genetic counseling and testing. That appointment was today.

We met first with the genetic counselor to talk family history (moms, dads, aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents, siblings). We talked about my 3 previous losses, this pregnancy and our understanding of why we were there. She went through our options for testing so fast it made our heads spin, and I’m not sure I could tell you exactly what she said anyway. And I’ll tell you, she could whip out a family pedigree faster than I could draw 2 lines.


Our next step was to see the sonographer to re-measure the NT, look baby over in general and check position of the placenta in case we decided for the CVS (chorionic villus sampling) test. The sonographer was super nice and very calming. He did a really nice job of explaining what he was seeing and what he was looking for. When he first measured the NT, his comment was “I thought the measurement said 6.” I told him it did and asked what it was now. “I’m not getting 6” he said. The measurements he was getting were closer to 4mm, which is still abnormal, but less than last week. I was encouraged when I heard that, even though I know it’s still not “normal”.
There were some other things that looked good for our little one as well. We could clearly see the nasal bone and nose, which is good. Apparently, in baby’s who have Down’s syndrome, it may be difficult to see at 12 weeks. Our baby has also grown half an inch or so in a week, which is reassuring as well.
I didn’t get a good picture of the NT from today, but got a great picture of this little baby’s profile. You can make out nose, lips and chin.


This was the fun part of the morning really. The sonographer said my placenta was in a perfect spot for the CVS and the baby was way on the other side of the apartment, so it *should* be an easy procedure if we decided to do it.
Kerry and I talked about it a bit. I’m an information person, I like to know what I’m dealing with and how it’s going to affect the course of treatment from here forward. The risk to the baby for the CVS is almost the same as the amniocentesis, which is the other option for chromosome studies but can’t be done until 16-18 weeks. We elected for the CVS for a couple of reasons. One is that we’d have the results sooner and the other is that by waiting for the amnio, we cross the time frame when I lost Knox. If the baby would die between now and the time for the amnio, it would be harder to get tissue samples for chromosome studies to determine what *might* have happened. And Kerry said “you’ll be a wreck if you wait another 3 weeks”, I’ve gotta say he’s right too.
The CVS test is where they insert a needle through my abdomen, through the uterus and into placenta. They collect a sample of the chorionic villus (which are the finger-like projections of the placenta into the uterus), that contains virtually the same genetic material as the baby.

They’ll send that sample off and the first results we’ll get back within 48-72 hours, since its Thursday that means we’ll hear on Monday sometime. The initial results will tell us whether our baby has one of the more common chromosome abnormalities. It tests for trisomy 13, 18, 21, and XY (I think that’s all of them). We’ll also be able to tell for sure if this baby is boy or girl. Then in about 2 weeks we’ll have “final” results which maps out other less common chromosome issues. If for some reason (there is a 1% chance) we can’t get results, usually because there are both normal and abnormal cells in the sample, we will have an amniocentesis at 16 weeks.
Even if the chromosome studies are normal, we’re still not considered out of the woods yet. We will go back to maternal fetal medicine for a very detailed sonogram and fetal echocardiogram to look at the structure and function of baby’s heart. Another common problem with babies who have a thick NT is heart defects. That will happen at about 22 weeks, the end of June or beginning of July for us. If that test comes back normal, we’ll be considered “in the clear” in terms of the big stuff.
So that’s all the technical stuff, as for me I’m doing okay. I’m a little sore where the needle went in and am told to expect to be sore for about a week. I have to say from the nursing perspective it was really neat to watch the needle go in and through my abdomen on the screen with the sono. I was given pretty strict instructions to take it easy for the next week. I mean strict…no standing for longer than 30 minutes, no lifting more than 30 lbs and no strenuous activities.  Sheesh, for a whole week? I reminded them I have 4 children, but I’m sure the big guys will help. I’m thankful Kerry was home the rest of today and will be home tomorrow.
It seems like we’ve had so much “bad” news lately (the genetic counselor was very much a worst case scenario kind of person), that we are focusing on the “good” news we’ve had. Things like the baby is growing normally, the NT was less this week and the major structures of the brain are there. We will have an anatomy scan around 20 weeks in the OB office where they’ll check growth again, look at the major body structures to make sure they’re all there and doing what they’re supposed to. I am thankful for the peace I had this morning after we talked to the genetic counselor. God has brought peace that only He can and I so appreciate the prayers that have been said on our behalf. We welcome continued prayers for the rest of this pregnancy and this little baby.
We trust that God has knit this little child together for His glory. We don’t know what lies ahead, but we are trusting that God will guide us through it all. It is difficult to not know what is in front of us, but we know that God does. We pray for wisdom for the doctors caring for us, wisdom and peace as we get results and approach the point in my pregnancy where we lost Knox. I thought this was a neat picture of baby’s hand. It’s so incredible.

 
 

March 5, 2012

As I get prepared for our appointment with maternal fetal medicine tomorrow, I spent some time reading over the prayer I wrote the day I found out we were expecting this little one. I write to get thoughts out and since Kerry was working and we wanted to keep the whole pregnant under wraps for a bit, I had to sit down for 2 minutes to write out my prayer of thanks the afternoon I found out. This is what I wrote thanking God for this precious gift. It was a good reminder today.
3/5/12
My Dear Heavenly Father,
I have to write this down because my mind is racing so much I can’t even focus long enough to say anything more than the words “Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!” Thank you for sending your son to die on the cross for my salvation. Thank you Lord for the blessing of children! And Thank you God for allowing me to be pregnant again. I cannot put into words the joy I’m feeling at this moment.
I am so grateful for this moment it’s hard to describe. I thought I would be more afraid of being pregnant after losing Knox, but I’m anticipating it. I’m excited about the prospect. I pray Lord that you will allow me to carry this baby to term and that you will help him/her to grow and develop normally. I also pray God that you will allow me to have a safe birth at home.
Lord, please guide our steps as we make decisions for my healthcare and as we look to the future of this little one. Lord, please bring about a peace as we embark on this adventure. Please help this pregnancy to glorify you and this child and his/her birth glorify you and the grace that you give. God I thank you so much for the precious blessing you have bestowed on our family. Please help us to be good stewards of the gifts You provide for us and to always trust You.
Thank you. I praise You Lord for Your provision and Your grace and Your love for me. Thank you God for the blessing of another child.
In Jesus’ precious name,
Amen.
 

Talk Turkey and pray

November is a special time at our house. Three of our boys have birthdays in November. Gabe is November 22, Otto is November 23 and Zeke is November 19. We lost a baby November 15, 2009. We remember that baby each year because I truly think that God doesn’t let you forget the children He blesses you with, even if you’ve only known them for a short time.
We are looking forward to November for another reason this year. We are expecting our 8th child (5th here on earth) on November 15. We were quite surprised to find we were pregnant in early March. Everyone at our house had a bout of the flu around that time, myself included and I just wasn’t getting any better. In fact, I felt rotten and exhausted. Then coffee made me nauseous and I suspected something was up.
We are excited and to be totally honest a bit nervous. When we lost Knox last December, it was such a shock to our family. While I had suffered miscarriages previously, I had never lost a baby so late in the pregnancy. My biggest fear after he was born, due to the complications I had after he was born, was that I wouldn’t be able become pregnant again.
I am delighted to be pregnant, but I approach it with much more caution and prayer. I have prayed more fervently for this pregnancy, this child and this birth more than I have any of my others. I am nervous about how I will navigate through the weeks of this pregnancy that coincide with the days and weeks when I lost Knox. I will be 15 weeks pregnant with this pregnancy the week I would have been due with Knox (he was 15 weeks when he died). This baby is due the same day we lost another baby, but is also due the same week that we celebrate the births of our 3 oldest boys.
I have learned though and have been reminded, that this pregnancy is not in my control. He has a purpose for this child and his or her life, just as He did for Knox and the other two babies I have lost and just as He does for my 4 boys here on earth. No matter how much I want to cling to them, if God chooses to take them from this earth, it is His will and not mine. We are trusting God for my health and this baby’s health as we progress in this pregnancy. We appreciate and desire your prayers for our family and this precious baby.
This is our first picture of our little one.
I wrote the above post on Thursday night, below is an update from Friday morning…
We got a phone call this morning from our doctor. Below is an email we sent to our family…
On Wednesday we had a sonogram to check the baby and to ease my mind a bit as I’m a little anxious after we lost Knox. At that sonogram, they take a measurement called a nuchal translucency test. They measure the amount of fluid at the back of baby’s neck. Normal values are less than 2.5 mm. Ours was 6mm. They often combine that test with a blood test (which I did, but we don’t have the results for) to determine the risk of chromosomal abnormalities and heart defects. Because our result was so high, my physician called this morning to talk about options and refer me to maternal fetal medicine in Colorado Springs. With a measurement that significant it is unlikely that the blood work would bring the “risk” level down to an acceptable range.

We have a number of options. One option is to have a CVS study (where they take part of the placenta) and do genetic testing to determine if there are chromosomal abnormalities with the baby. It won’t necessarily tell us if there are cardiac defects. This test has to be done in the next week. Or we can wait for about 2 months and have an amniocentesis (where they take amniotic fluid) and do genetic testing. The risks of both procedures are the loss of the pregnancy, which is about 1:200 or 1:225 for both. While it won’t change our decision to carry this pregnancy to term, I very much need to know what I’m dealing with. I have elected to undergo the CVS test next Thursday morning at 0900 in Colorado Springs.
Regardless of the results, I will have a very detailed sonogram at 22-24 weeks and a fetal cardiac echocardiogram to evaluate the functioning of the baby’s heart and screen for any defects there. As I said, the results of these tests won’t affect whether we continue with the pregnancy as we believe every life is precious the test will help prepare us for what lies ahead. If the chromosome studies are normal, but there is a heart defect we will most likely have the baby in Denver where we have access to baby heart doctors. 🙂 If the chromosome studies are abnormal, it will change how we manage the birth in terms of interventions, such as a c-section etc. We appreciate prayers and since I often use this blog to “brain dump” I’m sure updates will follow.
We are trusting God to help us navigate through this really scary time for our family. We also know that our God is big, our God is good and that He loves His children. We trust Him for whatever the future holds for our family and our precious little baby.