Sacrifice

Being a wife and mother requires sacrifice. We  miss out on sleep to tend to children who wake up during the night. We sacrifice comfort to spend that same night sleeping in the recliner because they can’t breathe with stuffy noses. We wash hundreds of loads of laundry and still get the question “Where are my favorite pants?” We often sacrifice hot meals to serve our families and help little ones eat.

But it’s a sacrifice we should make joyfully. It may not be easy, but we are called to respect our husbands and love our children. Are we missing God’s blessing for our lives when we’re so selfish that we fail to be willing to serve our husbands and children?
Society would tell you that we all need a little “me” time and that it’s okay to not want to be with your family, sometimes they even encourage separate vacations. I challenge you though, is that really the type of mother God has called you to be?
We shouldn’t be judging ourselves by someone else’s standard, recommendation or ideal. We should measure ourselves against the standard God has set forth for mothers and wives.

Titus 2: 3-5

3 Older women likewise are to be reverent in their behavior, not malicious gossips nor enslaved to much wine, teaching what is good, 4 so that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, 5 to be sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands, so that the word of God will not be dishonored.

It is important to remember why we are doing what we are doing. It isn’t so we can win a make over or mother of the year award. It isn’t so that we can measure up to the mom or wife next door. It is so “the word of God will not be dishonored” It’s so HE can be glorified by our actions of obedience.

It isn’t easy. I have to ask for forgiveness daily for my shortcomings as a mother and wife. I fall on my knees asking for grace and for God’s love to be shown through me. I have had to go to my children and my husband, more than I would like to admit, and apologize for not being the woman God has called me to be. I am slowly growing, but I fall short so very often.
God created mothers with a specific purpose, when we are obedient to Him we honor HIM, we glorify HIM, we sacrifice for HIM. Being a mother is honorable, not because of us but because of God’s grace. We are blessed to show the love of God to our children and husbands through our actions, our words, our sacrifice. If we play the “martyr” card, and sacrifice…but do it with a sigh or with the wrong motive…we’re seeking glory for ourselves and not to glorify God.
I am so blessed to be a mother. I have learned lessons about forgiveness, love, humbleness and redemption by being a mother. I have grown to see children as the blessings God sees. I have learned to delight in my children, to delight in the sacrifice of motherhood. I have known the ache a mother feels for her children and I know what it is to pray fervently for those children God has entrusted to me. With motherhood, I gained new appreciation for the mothers in my life and the sacrifices and prayers they’ve made on my behalf. More than anything though, God has shown me more opportunity to become the woman He’s called me to be. He has taught me more about sacrifice, service and love than I could have ever imagined.
I am thankful for the gift of motherhood, I am blessed daily to bring honor to God by caring for my children.

Who says?

I tend to set really high goals for myself and others around me. When I start to feel stressed or out of control, I have the tendency to try to find a better “system” to get it all done. I feel the urge to organize better so that I can be more in control of the chaos around me. I want to be able to do it all, and do it really well. But who says I have to?

I’ve got a couple of favorite blogs I read on a fairly regular basis. They’re written by some really great ladies who have bigger families than I do and they have a pretty similar world view to what we have. I enjoy them and a lot of times they give me some great stuff to ponder and implement in my family. Recently on a blog post an author included her weekly family meal menu and shopping list. I thought I’d take a gander and see what other people plan and eat. (I love food you know). Here is what she feeds her family for breakfast, lunch and dinner…
BREAKFAST
Pancakes
Eggs & Sausage
Waffles
Baked Oatmeal
Cocoa & Toast or Cereal
Smoothies
Oven Pancake & Fruit
LUNCH
Sandwiches & Chips
Grilled Cheese & Tomato Soup
Taco Salad
Spaghetti & Corn
Hot Dogs & Cheese Slices
Hamburgers & Chips
Quiche & Peas
DINNER
Chili & Corn Bread or Cinnamon Rolls
Homemade or Frozen Pizza & Salad
Crock Pot Roast & Potatoes & Green Beans
Fajitas & Rice
Potato Soup & Breadsticks
Sloppy Joes & Chips
I read this list and started to feel guilty. My kids get a choice for breakfast…cold cereal, instant oatmeal, toast, or if we have pumpkin or banana bread they can have that. Occasionally they can have Oreos. For lunch it’s left overs, PB&J or something else equally as easy. Dinner I usually cook a decent dinner. But seriously. I started to feel like I was failing my kids. I don’t give them a hot breakfast every morning and I certainly don’t make pancakes or eggs and sausage. I don’t whip up a fancy lunch either. What if I’m failing their little minds and their tummies by feeding them what’s easy and doable?
But then I got a bit of a reality check. Who says I have to make a fancy breakfast or lunch to be a good mom? Who says that my kids will only thrive if I spend my days in the kitchen instead of playing with them or helping them learn in school? Who says I have to do what other moms (who apparently have way more time, energy or help than I do) do? It’s self imposed really. There are times when I have to tell myself “who says”.
I mean, even in the Bible when it talks about women being keepers of the home, it doesn’t say “thou shalt not have dirty floors” or “thou shalt makest thy children gourmet meals”. Although that whole Proverbs 31 woman sounds pretty stellar. Although when you break it down, the woman in Proverbs 31 boils down to this…she’s trustworthy and her husband is okay with her running the household (v 10, 11), she’s frugal (v 13), she feeds her family (v 15), she thinks ahead (v 21), she helps the poor (v 20), she exercises (v 17), she is diligent in her work and brings in money (v 24), she’s wise and kind (v 26), and she’s not lazy (v 27). The other things…hot breakfasts, spotless houses, perfect children in matching clothes (I don’t do this by the way) and floors so clean you can eat off of…that’s all self imposed. It’s this imaginary standard that we all try to live up to, but we never make. My house is clean enough to be healthy, but dirty enough to be happy. My kids don’t get fancy breakfasts or lunch, but they’re not hungry and they seem to grow just fine.
So who says it has to look like “Leave it to Beaver”? Who says that anything other than what we’re doing now is better?
I should say this…if you’re one of those moms who CAN do it all and make your kids these really fantastic meals and keeps your house spotless…more power to you! Nothing wrong with that, but know that when you come to visit my house…you may need to lower your expectations just a bit.