Stuff your husband needs to hear and we don't

Loving husbands is hard. But I would bet so is loving wives. We are called to respect our husbands. I posted about respecting our husbands in my leave and cleave posts.

I have been so disappointed to see and hear the way young ladies and wives treat their husbands. When we talk to our sons about choosing a wife (yes we do and they’re only 7 and 9), we encourage them to watch how their perspective bride talks to the men in her life. The way she talks to her father or brothers before she’s married is a good indication of how she’ll talk to her husband when she’s married.

Ephesians 5:33 says “However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.” (ESV)

Please notice that it doesn’t say “respect him when he earns it” or “respect him only if he makes you feel loved”. It says respect him. So many women today are bent on making their husbands earn the respect, but I’ll tell you ladies…I wouldn’t want to wait to feel loved until he decided I was lovable. Because some days, quite frankly, I’m not.

After hearing yet another young wife berate her husband in public, I decided to write a list of things you should say to your husband, boyfriend, fiance’ and in some cases even your father. Remember, you’re practicing submission and respect while you’re still living at home.

Say:
“I’m so thankful you can do                                  well”

Don’t say:
“You never do anything right.”

Say:
“Thank you for doing                                     today. It really helped a lot”

Don’t say:
“Did you get                         done today?” or “Why didn’t                        get done?”

Say:
“I’m so blessed to have a husband/father/son/ etc like you”

Don’t say:
“Ugh! You’ve got to be kidding me!”

Say:
“What can I do for you today?”

Don’t say:
“I don’t have time to do that.”

Say (to others about him):
“Isn’t he great at                               ?” or “I don’t know what I’d do without him”

Don’t say:
“He always does                      ” or “I hate it when he                                .


I encourage you this week to try to say things that will build up the man in your life. Say them to his face and in front of others. Let him know that you really mean it, make a choice to respect him and show him that respect. Serve him, don’t look to him to serve you all the time. Remember when you say negative things about your husband to others and then you forgive him…they rarely do. All they remember are the negative things you’ve said and they’re going to have a negative impression of him when you reconcile.

Something else to remember ladies…you wouldn’t want your husband/father airing all your faults and short comings to his friends, co-workers and random people in public. So don’t do it to him. We all have faults and none of us like them being advertised to others. You may think you’re “just venting” or letting off steam, but you’re disrespecting your husband/father. I have been on the receiving end of women who unloaded to me about their husbands/fathers…I promise you it wasn’t him that I had the poor impression of.


Remember to respect your man, show him and others that you respect him. You expect him to love you so you respect him. 

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