Archives

Talk Turkey and pray

November is a special time at our house. Three of our boys have birthdays in November. Gabe is November 22, Otto is November 23 and Zeke is November 19. We lost a baby November 15, 2009. We remember that baby each year because I truly think that God doesn’t let you forget the children He blesses you with, even if you’ve only known them for a short time.
We are looking forward to November for another reason this year. We are expecting our 8th child (5th here on earth) on November 15. We were quite surprised to find we were pregnant in early March. Everyone at our house had a bout of the flu around that time, myself included and I just wasn’t getting any better. In fact, I felt rotten and exhausted. Then coffee made me nauseous and I suspected something was up.
We are excited and to be totally honest a bit nervous. When we lost Knox last December, it was such a shock to our family. While I had suffered miscarriages previously, I had never lost a baby so late in the pregnancy. My biggest fear after he was born, due to the complications I had after he was born, was that I wouldn’t be able become pregnant again.
I am delighted to be pregnant, but I approach it with much more caution and prayer. I have prayed more fervently for this pregnancy, this child and this birth more than I have any of my others. I am nervous about how I will navigate through the weeks of this pregnancy that coincide with the days and weeks when I lost Knox. I will be 15 weeks pregnant with this pregnancy the week I would have been due with Knox (he was 15 weeks when he died). This baby is due the same day we lost another baby, but is also due the same week that we celebrate the births of our 3 oldest boys.
I have learned though and have been reminded, that this pregnancy is not in my control. He has a purpose for this child and his or her life, just as He did for Knox and the other two babies I have lost and just as He does for my 4 boys here on earth. No matter how much I want to cling to them, if God chooses to take them from this earth, it is His will and not mine. We are trusting God for my health and this baby’s health as we progress in this pregnancy. We appreciate and desire your prayers for our family and this precious baby.
This is our first picture of our little one.
I wrote the above post on Thursday night, below is an update from Friday morning…
We got a phone call this morning from our doctor. Below is an email we sent to our family…
On Wednesday we had a sonogram to check the baby and to ease my mind a bit as I’m a little anxious after we lost Knox. At that sonogram, they take a measurement called a nuchal translucency test. They measure the amount of fluid at the back of baby’s neck. Normal values are less than 2.5 mm. Ours was 6mm. They often combine that test with a blood test (which I did, but we don’t have the results for) to determine the risk of chromosomal abnormalities and heart defects. Because our result was so high, my physician called this morning to talk about options and refer me to maternal fetal medicine in Colorado Springs. With a measurement that significant it is unlikely that the blood work would bring the “risk” level down to an acceptable range.

We have a number of options. One option is to have a CVS study (where they take part of the placenta) and do genetic testing to determine if there are chromosomal abnormalities with the baby. It won’t necessarily tell us if there are cardiac defects. This test has to be done in the next week. Or we can wait for about 2 months and have an amniocentesis (where they take amniotic fluid) and do genetic testing. The risks of both procedures are the loss of the pregnancy, which is about 1:200 or 1:225 for both. While it won’t change our decision to carry this pregnancy to term, I very much need to know what I’m dealing with. I have elected to undergo the CVS test next Thursday morning at 0900 in Colorado Springs.
Regardless of the results, I will have a very detailed sonogram at 22-24 weeks and a fetal cardiac echocardiogram to evaluate the functioning of the baby’s heart and screen for any defects there. As I said, the results of these tests won’t affect whether we continue with the pregnancy as we believe every life is precious the test will help prepare us for what lies ahead. If the chromosome studies are normal, but there is a heart defect we will most likely have the baby in Denver where we have access to baby heart doctors. 🙂 If the chromosome studies are abnormal, it will change how we manage the birth in terms of interventions, such as a c-section etc. We appreciate prayers and since I often use this blog to “brain dump” I’m sure updates will follow.
We are trusting God to help us navigate through this really scary time for our family. We also know that our God is big, our God is good and that He loves His children. We trust Him for whatever the future holds for our family and our precious little baby.

 

New Recipe Monday — Famous Cheese Dip

My Kansas peeps might appreciate this recipe more than most. When I was growing up, there was this Mexican restaurant that was fantastic near our home town, and then closed during my sophomore year of high school. They served this cheese dip that I have yet to find any where else. It’s not salsa and it’s not entirely cheese either. They’d serve it at the beginning of the meal with chips, but would also smother everything else with it too. When I was first pregnant with Gabe, I craved it like nobody’s business. I was fortunate enough that Kerry worked with the guys son who used to own the place. We bought cheese dip by the gallon. Someone, I’ll never say who, blessed me with the recipe when I was pregnant with my second son. I’ve made some modifications for our family, but it still has the same flavor it always did growing up. Enjoy!
1 big can of tomato sauce
1 big jug of tomato juice
1 onion chopped
green chilies (optional). I use roasted Pueblo Chilies, but you could use 2 small cans as well.
Shredded cheddar cheese (I use several handfuls)
In large sauce pan, saute onion in oil until translucent and slightly browned. It’s important not to skip the slightly browned part, it adds a lot of flavor later.
Dump tomato juice and sauce in with onions. If you’re using green chilies add them now too. Warm until heated through. Add a couple handfuls of cheddar cheese and stir until melted, heating thoroughly. We like ours fairly cheesy, so I add about 3. 🙂 I will usually simmer the dip for 20-30 minutes on low stirring often so it doesn’t stick to the bottom of the pan.
Serve over burritos, with chips or tortillas. Sprinkle with a bit of cheese just prior to serving. I meant to take pictures this week, but we were too busy eating it that I completely forgot. The only picture I grabbed was the dip in the pan before I served it. Enjoy!

Brave

Brave. I’m not.
I shy away from intense discussions with those around me. Something that I would have never done when I was younger. I don’t like the conflict now. I don’t like the uncomfortable stuff that comes with confrontation. I take a lot before I’m pushed over the edge into confrontation. I was yelled at this week, in public, in front of people I knew. I didn’t confront the yeller no matter how much I wanted to. I didn’t tell the person it was totally inappropriate and that they were embarrassing themselves. I just stopped talking. I’m the kind of person who walks away and thinks of what I should have said, what I should have done and that I should have been brave.
I wish I were brave.
I shy away from sharing my faith “too much”. I’m ashamed of my chickeness. It’s not because I’m afraid of the impression of others, but because I am afraid I will be responsible for turning them away. I will say something that makes them think “I want nothing to do with that God of hers” and I will be responsible for driving them away from the God that will save them. I don’t want that kind of burden, but I wonder why I’m so willing to bear the burden of what could happen if no one ever shares with them because they aren’t “brave”. Satan wants us believe that we aren’t, we can’t be, we shouldn’t be…brave. He wins a victory when we aren’t brave.
Ephesians 6: 10-16
10 Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of His might. 11 Put on the full armor of God, so that you will be able to stand firm against the schemes of the devil. 12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness inthe heavenly places. 13 Therefore, take up the full armor of God, so that you will be able to resist in the evil day, and having done everything, to stand firm. 14 Stand firm therefore, HAVING GIRDED YOUR LOINS WITH TRUTH, and HAVING PUT ON THE BREASTPLATE OF RIGHTEOUSNESS, 15 and having shod YOUR FEET WITH THE PREPARATION OF THE GOSPEL OF PEACE; 16 in addition to all, taking up the shield of faith with which you will be able to extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. 17 And take THE HELMET OF SALVATION, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.
Be BRAVE.