Month: April 2012

So I’m just going to brain dump again just a bit…I’ve been pondering lately the junk that people are putting in their brains and how they seem to think it isn’t going to affect their daily lives. Junk in…junk out.
What has really been on my mind lately is the idea of discipleship and family vision.  A vision isn’t just a “plan” for the next 50 years or so of our lives. But a vision for the family is looking into the future and saying “This. This is where I want my kids, grandkids and family to be in 10, 20, 50, 100 or 200 years” And then going about that vision with intentionality. You  must identify the steps or at least the habits that you’re going to take to get there. The morals and values you want to instill, the training and education you will provide and the growth that will take place.
Every family has a vision. Whether it’s put into words or if the family even knows it, the vision is there. Some families go about it intentionally, others figure someone else will do it for them, or they just lack forsight to even see the importance of having a vision. The vision you have for your family has the ability to change your family tree, it has the ability to direct the paths of your children, grandchildren and great grandchildren.
Some families appear to have a handle on this vision. They have a plan, they certainly have an idea of where they’d like their family to be, but unfortunately they don’t take the necessary steps to get there or they grossly underestimate the amount of time it takes to actually cultivate that vision in their family.
I recently read a statistic that 80% of the kids raised in a “Christian” home and church, leave the church by the end of their freshman year in college. Wow. Does that shock any of my Christian friends and parents out there? It should.
I think there are several things that play into this statistic and the reason behind kids leaving the church. One of them is that my generation wants a genuine faith, not just a “because it’s the right thing to do” kind of faith, but a genuine “love you with the love of Christ” kind of faith. (But that’s a different blog post entirely).
Another equally important reason kids are leaving the church, in my opinion, is that their parents and grandparents lacked a family vision. They were lulled into thinking that 2 hours in a church on Sunday morning and maybe an hour or two during the week would “undo” the junk that goes into their kids minds during the week. Now I know this is going to ruffle some feathers, but I really believe it’s true. Church isn’t going to replace parenting, church isn’t going to be able to erase the curse words, immoral behavior, and other trash kids are exposed to during the week. It’s not meant to.
We’ve had a lot of questions about why we homeschool. We view homeschooling not as a way to “shelter” and “control” our kids, but as a way to disciple them. It’s part of our family vision. We don’t expect church to do something that we as parents should be doing. We believe that 40 hours a week in a government school isn’t going to get us to our family vision. It’s putting our kids, our faith and their salvation at risk. I’m not saying that if a family doesn’t homeschool their kids, they’re going to end up as mass murders or that they’re headed straight for the depths of hell (although without the grace of God we all are). But I certainly think it warrants a serious look by believing families. Would you freely trust those who are teaching your kids with your check book or your house? If not, I would pose the question to you then how much more valuable are your children?
Please don’t get me wrong, I have nothing against public education or public educators. We have many great ones in our family and friends. But as believers we feel we are mandated by scripture to disciple our children, and that is difficult to do when they are spending 40 hours a week in a government school.
What concerns me most is not that kids are going to public school, but that their parents aren’t actively discipling them. And that is really the key. It is the job of the parent, not the church, to disciple children. Unfortunately, most parents are unaware, ill equipped, and unaccountable for this task. Do I think the church has a role in discipleship? Absolutely. The church is there to support and hold families accountable, but not to serve as a substitute for the responsibility God has given to parents.
What world view do you hold? What world view do you want your children to hold? What world view are they getting 40 hours a week vs the world view they’re getting in church every Sunday?
I didn’t post this to start a debate or hurt feelings, but to express our views and part of our vision for our family. We want to start the thought process for why you’re doing what you’re doing with your family. What is the vision you hold for your family? How are you going to get there?
A much more exhaustive and in-depth study of family vision, purposeful parenting and discipleship has been written by Dr. Voddie Baucham in Family Driven Faith. It’s a great read and study of Deuteronomy 6.